1. Acknowledge past experiences

Recognize the impact that previous toxic work environments have had on your perceptions and behaviors. Take time to understand your experiences, feelings, and thoughts related to those situations. This self-reflection will help you become more aware of any lingering negative effects and enable you to address them effectively.

2. Build Awareness

Identify your personal triggers and become familiar with your fight-or-flight responses in new situations. By understanding these reactions, you can learn to differentiate between real threats and perceived threats rooted in past experiences. This awareness will empower you to make more informed decisions about how to approach and manage challenging situations. For many people, it’s not easy to identify what the triggers are or even know that they are triggered. If you’d like to learn to recognize triggers, I recommend checking in with your body and noting physical sensations. Not judging but simply noting any sensations. Then you could try to identify what brought up that sensation. For example: “I feel that my jaw is clenched.” What emotion is attached to that sensation? “Anger.” What might have brought up anger? “The meeting I had earlier with my colleague.” This is obviously a process, but you can train yourself to identify triggers and then learn to work with them. To build awareness, you could use tools like journaling or subconscious dialoguing (contact me to learn more), which is an extraordinary tool for handling triggers.

3. Rebuild Trust Gradually

Start building connections with colleagues who seem empathetic and consistent in their actions. Trust takes time to develop, so don't rush it. Begin with one or two people you feel comfortable with and gradually expand your circle. Remember that it takes time to establish trust, so be patient with yourself and others during this process.

4. Don’t “bring your whole self to work”

You might have heard the advice, "Bring your whole self to work," but it's crucial to strike a balance between being authentic and maintaining professional boundaries. I truly believe that one of the reasons why so many workplaces are messed up is because people show up “their authentic selves” without doing the work on themselves. This causes a lot of damage and chaos. While it's important to be genuine and not put on a facade, remember that your workplace is not our home (in many ways). Be selective in what you share with your manager and coworkers, and avoid oversharing personal information that could potentially cause you discomfort. Your colleagues don't need to know every detail of your life, and it's okay to keep some aspects of your personal life private. By setting these boundaries, you contribute to a more respectful and professional work environment where everyone can thrive.

5. Promote Healthy Competition

Competition is great for business and your career, but many toxic workplaces bring out the "win at all costs" competitiveness. Unhealthy competition happens when we learn that pushing others down is our only way up. If you notice yourself elbowing others to get ahead, focus more on your team succeeding and you as a "we" instead of an "I."

6. Exchange Feedback Effectively

Give feedback privately and immediately. Ask your team members direct questions about how you show up at work to help keep you in check. A team that gives you honest feedback is a sign of a healthy team, one that will work better together, stay longer, and help you become the best leader you can be.

I learned so much from Kim Scott and her book Radical Candor. It teaches you how to give and solicit feedback. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it.

7. Stay Away from Gossip

Gossip is one of the most painful experiences people go through in the workplace. It takes us back to school and triggers many unhappy memories. I like to define gossip in this way: If you're talking negatively about someone with someone else who cannot help you solve the problem, you're gossiping. Staying away from gossip is crucial in helping create psychological safety at work. If you gossip, think about why you're doing it. Is it a bad habit, or do you need help? If you need help, get help from the right person (i.e., your manager, HR).

8. Develop Genuine Confidence

Toxic workplaces impact our self-esteem and can create fear and anxiety. It takes work to believe in yourself again. Though there is no magic bullet for building confidence, you can start by writing down your values (what’s important to you in life? How do you want to behave?), true strengths, establishing career and personal goals, setting clear and healthy boundaries, and being kind to yourself.

9. Set Healthy Boundaries:

Communicate and maintain personal and professional boundaries to protect your mental health and well-being. Learn to say "no" when necessary and be clear about your expectations and limitations. By establishing these boundaries, you create a more balanced work environment that respects both your needs and those of your colleagues.

10. Celebrate Every Victory

Take time to acknowledge and appreciate your progress, no matter how small. Recognizing your achievements will boost your confidence and keep you motivated to continue working towards your goals. Share your wins with your support network and celebrate your growth together.