A quick exercise to help you work with negative core beliefs
Identifying False Beliefs About Emotions
Intro.
In this exercise, we will examine your basic assumptions about emotions, that is, what emotions mean to you, what it means to express them, and what would happen if you allowed yourself to feel particular emotions. The purpose of this is to uncover any false or misleading beliefs that you have that might harm your wellbeing, and then we will work on shifting these false beliefs into positive ones.
Step 1: Choose a difficult emotion
For this exercise, choose one difficult emotion. Perhaps choose an emotional state with which you are struggling now; for instance, you might feel anxious about an upcoming event or regretful about a recent incident. Write down the emotion you have chosen in your journal, on your iPad, or a piece of paper.
Step 2: Uncover false core beliefs about that emotion
Read through the list of common false beliefs about emotions below and see which resonates most with you. Pay particular attention to those that sound familiar, as these may be thoughts that exist outside your awareness. Please add any personal beliefs that are not listed at the end. Then, write down your core beliefs about the emotion you chose in step 1.
Step 3: Explore the consequences of holding these beliefs
Now, let’s look at what happens because of holding these beliefs about emotions. What effect do these beliefs have on how you feel, behave, and talk to yourself when faced with this emotion? Write down as many outcomes (positive and negative) as you can think of. This is the cost of the force belief. Reflect on what is the cost versus what could happen if you didn’t hold on to that belief.
Examples of negative core beliefs:
If I lose control of my emotions in front of others, they will think less of me.
I should be able to control my emotions.
I am not worthy of love.
I feel like I’m a fake and that everyone will find out.
If I tell others how I feel, they will use it against me.
If I tell others how I feel, they will think I am weak.
Other people don’t feel this way. There must be something wrong with me.
I should be able to cope with difficulties on my own without turning to others for support.
I have to fix my boss/partner/lover/friend.
I’m unworthy of this job.
I am just like my mom/dad/sibling/toxic parent.
I’ll never get better or heal.
That person responded differently than I did; therefore, my emotional reaction is wrong.
Letting myself feel bad would mean falling to pieces.
Being an adult means not getting carried away by emotion; I’m supposed to be rational!
I’m stupid for feeling this way. I should just suck it up!
I should not let myself give in to these feelings.
Other:
