When your relationship feels like the same fight on repeat.
Relational coaching for couples ready to break free from old patterns and rebuild closeness, peace, and trust.
Dear Fighters and Protectors,
I imagine things between you feel stuck.
The same fights, again and again. The quiet distance. The sharp words you wish you could take back. The silence where love used to be loud. Maybe you wonder how you ended up here, or how people who love each other this much can hurt each other this deeply.
You try to be kind. You try to explain. You try to let it go. But nothing seems to work.
What I know from the couples I work with is this: underneath all the conflict, there is still care. But it’s been buried under years of survival strategies: old habits of shutting down, blowing up, defending, withdrawing.
It’s not just about what’s happening now.
It’s about what each of you learned long before you met.
How you learned to protect yourselves.
How you learned to survive love when it felt unsafe.
But protection isn’t the same as connection.
And maybe, just maybe, you’re ready to try something different. Not to blame each other. Not to brush it all aside.
But to slow down. To speak honestly and listen bravely. To rebuild trust, not perfectly, but piece by piece.
This work isn’t always easy. Sometimes it hurts before it heals.
But I’ve seen couples find each other again, not the people they used to be, but something new.
More honest. More tender. More whole.
If you’re longing for that, I’m here to help. Let’s begin.
“My wife and I were already many years in therapy, but it felt mostly like sitting in the pain, not learning how to stop hurting each other. With Ikey, it was something else. She helped us really see how much we damaged each other, but without giving us shame. She taught us to stop before it becomes too much, to react from a better place, and finally to speak about the things we put under the carpet for so long. For the first time, we didn’t only understand the problem. We could actually start changing it.”
- B.
The Work We’ll Do, Together
Interrupt the cycle of blame, silence, and reactivity.
We’ll slow down the arguments and find what’s underneath them: hurt, fear, and longing for closeness.
Speak honestly without causing harm.
You’ll learn to tell the truth without burning down the bridge between you. And how to hear your partner’s truth without shutting down or lashing out.
Repair what’s been broken.
Fights and mistakes happen in every relationship. What matters is how you find your way back to each other, with care and accountability.
Rebuild intimacy and trust.
We’ll work on reconnecting emotionally and physically so you feel close again, not just functional.
Make clear requests and listen with an open heart.
You’ll learn how to ask for what you need without guilt or blame, and how to hear what your partner needs without defensiveness.
Build a shared vision for your future.
Even in the hardest seasons, it helps to remember what you’re working toward. We’ll create a picture of the relationship you both want to grow.
Practice new ways of relating that feel steady and kind.
Not perfect, but real. A relationship that can hold your love, your truth, and your differences, without falling apart.
Hold boundaries with care and respect.
You’ll practice setting limits without shutting each other out and respecting your partner’s limits without resentment.
What I Bring to This Work
I’m trained in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a practical, science-based approach that helps couples break free from the painful patterns they’ve been stuck in.
Unlike many coaching and therapy methods, I don’t start by handing you communication scripts and hoping for the best.
Instead, I slow down and help you both access the part of you that wants to stay connected, even in the heat of the moment.
The part of you that can choose closeness over control, courage over defensiveness, love over fear.
From there, we’ll build practical tools together:
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How to repair after a fight.
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How to speak honestly without blaming.
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How to hold boundaries with care.
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How to build a relationship that feels steady, loving, and alive.
I’ll challenge you when needed, take sides when it's helpful, and always stay committed to the health of your relationship, not just keeping the peace.
I’ll help you see the old survival strategies that protected you once but are hurting your relationship now.
And I’ll help each of you build your own strength and self-worth, so you’re not waiting for your partner to “fix” how you feel.
This is honest, hands-on work for couples ready for a deep change.
Feel like you're ready to take the first step? Let's talk.
"My partner and I were almost breaking up when we found Ikey. We loved each other but couldn’t stop fighting. And when we fought, we both said things that really hurt each other. With Ikey, we learned how our past was actually the one hurting our relationship. Ikey taught us how to speak from what we learned is our ‘Wise Adult.’ We still have work to do, but we finally feel closer to each other, and there’s more peace at home."
- M+S