From Single to Secure
See what’s been shaping your love life. Choose from clarity. Build a secure relationship from the inside out.
“I used to chase avoidant women and explode when they pulled away. It ruined my confidence and left me honestly broken. Working with Ikey helped me understand my pattern in our first session. Two months into our work and I’m feeling grounded, and for the first time, I trust myself in dating. I now choose women who actually show up.”
- R.M
Most people don’t end up single because they’re unlucky.
They end up single because, somewhere along the way, love became tangled with old emotional patterns they never knew they were carrying.
We don’t choose partners the way we think we do.
We don’t choose them with logic, or intention, or with the calm part of ourselves that knows what would genuinely be good for us. We choose them with the part that remembers, quietly, almost imperceptibly, how love felt in childhood.
If love once meant working hard to be seen,
you’ll find yourself chasing people who stay just far enough away.
If love meant calming someone unpredictable, chaos will feel strangely like home.
If love meant being the strong one, you will end up over-functioning without even noticing.
If love meant proving your worth, you will fall for people who make you feel not quite enough.
These patterns don’t announce themselves.
They disguise themselves as “chemistry,”“connection,” or “potential.”
And so dating becomes less about meeting someone new and more about unconsciously reenacting something very old. Not because you’re flawed or dramatic... but because you’re human, and humans repeat what’s familiar.
Even when it hurts. Even when they know better. Even when they’re exhausted from trying. Humans try to find the happy ending they didn't get in childhood.
But patterns aren’t destiny.
They’re just the emotional habits we haven’t yet examined with enough honesty.
The shift begins the moment you stop asking,
“Why is everyone unavailable?”
and start asking,
“What part of me keeps choosing this?”
If you’re here, it’s likely because you’ve reached that moment. The quiet, painful, hopeful awareness that something has to change, and that you’re finally ready to understand yourself in a deeper way.
This is the work of becoming secure: not by finding the perfect partner, but by becoming the version of yourself who can finally choose differently.
If you’re ready to stop repeating the old story, let’s talk.
A single conversation can show you exactly where your pattern begins and what needs to shift for something different to finally take root.
If you’re tired of repeating the same story in love and you want something steadier, I’d love to help.
Book a free chemistry session and let’s talk.
What we can work on, together:
Understand the part of you that keeps choosing the familiar.
You’ll learn why you’re drawn to intensity, distance, or emotional unpredictability. Because a younger part of you learned that this is what love feels like. Once we understand that part, we can rewire the pattern.
Rebuild your internal sense of worth so you stop chasing love like oxygen.
We’ll work on the hole you’ve been trying to fill with other people. Not by “boosting confidence,” but by reconnecting you with the part of yourself that knows you deserve steady, warm connection, not crumbs.
Learn how to cherish real closeness without collapsing or over-functioning.
Closeness is easy to crave and hard to hold. You’ll learn how to stay grounded when someone actually shows up for you, without disappearing, over-giving, or pushing them away.
Communicate your needs clearly, without apology or pressure.
Most singles either hide their needs or drop them like a test. You’ll learn how to speak from your adult self: direct, honest, and calm, so the right person can actually meet you.
Recognize red flags not as warnings, but as information.
You’ll learn to see patterns early: inconsistency, emotional unavailability, love-bombing, people who want you to fix them. Instead of being “hopeful” with the wrong people, you’ll become discerning with the right ones.
Set healthy boundaries that create intimacy, not block it.
Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re agreements that keep connection safe. You’ll learn how to set limits without disappearing, attacking, or over-explaining, and how to respect the other person’s limits without losing yourself.
“I always thought of myself as independent. I didn’t even think I had a relationship problem.. I came to Ikey for career advice but working with her made me realize that my independence was mostly fear of depending on someone, of being vulnerable, of letting anyone close.
She helped me understand my avoidance without shaming it. For the first time, I could talk about the sadness underneath it and actually understand where it comes from. I feel more open. I’m in my late 30s, and thanks to Ikey I’m now in my first healthy relationship, and I'm able to communicate what I need and be open to giving and receiving.”
- M.